I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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