in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
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No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
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I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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