Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize