Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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