Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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