Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize