he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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