I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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