and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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