the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
All I want is dick and wine.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize