I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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