I cannot find my penis.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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