names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize