I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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