Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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