Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
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Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
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My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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