You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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