The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize