he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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