Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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