i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
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I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
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I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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