I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize