Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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