using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize