dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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