Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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