2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
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Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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