hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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