Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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