I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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