We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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