this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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