ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
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we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
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I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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