shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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