therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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