I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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