I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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