My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize