Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize