Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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