my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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