Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
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nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
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I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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