I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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