I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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