He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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