So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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