I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
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I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
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Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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