let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
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He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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