Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize