Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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